（
风流神仙混官场）（
我的校花老婆）（
万族王座）（
大豪门）（
最强农家媳）（
盛宠：本少好低调）chapter ii
but where wasgoing?he begane outhis trancedelightwithin himfelt the steady burningshameth yetcould not therewas, submerged beneath his attention, the raw, steady burning shame.
it behoved himb yetdared not remember whatha only knew the needget away, away from everythinghad beencontact with.
but how?a great pangfear went throug could not bear his shamed fleshbe put again between the handhe hands had been laid upon him, brutally upon his nakedness, ripping open his shame and making him maimed, crippledhis own control.
fear becamlindlywas turningthe directionth could not take the responsibilitust give himselft his heart, obstinatehope, became obsessed with the ideahi would make himselfastook courage,mounted the small, quick hurrying tram that ran outthe townthe directionth sat motionless and posed, static.
he got outthe terminus and went downwas stil could hear the faint whisperthe rye, and the stronger swisha sudden gust was upon it.no onedetached and impersonal,went dowield path between thelittle virees rosein spires, holding out tender pink shoots, waving thei saw them distinctly and wondered over them.
iielittle way off, men and women were takingth bullock waggon stoodon the path, the mentheir blue shirts, the women with white cloths over their heads carried haytheir armsthe cart, all brilliant and distinct upon the shorn, glowing gree felt himself looking outdarknessto the glamorous, brilliant beautythe world around him, outside him.
the baron’s house, where emilie was maidservant, stood square and mellow among trees and gardenwasold frenc barracks was quit walked, drawna single purpose, towardsentered the spacious, shadowy, sun swep dog, seeinoldier, only jumped and whinedpump stood peacefullya corner, undeime tree,the shade.
the kitchen doorhesitated, then walked in, speaking shyly and smilin two women started, but wit was preparing the tray for afternoo stood beyond the table, drawn up, startled, and challenging,had the proud, timid eyessome wild animal, some prou black hair was closely banded, her grey eyes watche woreasant dressblue cotton sprigged with little red roses, that buttoned tight over her strong maiden breasts.
at the table sat another young woman, the nursery governess, who was picking cherries frouge heap, and dropping them into was young, pretty, freckled.“good day!” she said pleasantly.“the unexpected.”emilie didflush cameher dar still stood watching, between fear anesireescape, andthe other hand joy that kept herhis presence.“yes,”said, bashful and strained, while the eyesthe two women were upon him.“i’ve got myselfa mess this time.”“what?” asked the nursery governess, dropping her handshe stood rigid.
bachmann could not raiselooked sidewaysthe glistening, rudd could not recover the normal world.“i knocked sergeant huber over the fortifications down into the moat,”said.“it wasaccident but ”andgraspedthe cherries, and beganeat them, unknowing, hearing only emilie’s little exclamation.“you knocked him over the fortifications!” echoed fr?ulein hessehorror.“how?”spitting the cherry stones into his hand, mechanically, absorbedly,told them.“ach!” exclaimed emilie sharply.“and how did you get here?” asked fr?ulein hesse.“i ran off,”said.
there waea stood, putting himselfthe mercyth camissing from the stove, antronger smelurned swiftl saw her flat, straight back and her strong loins,she bent over the stove.
“but what are you goingdo?” asked fr?ulein hesse, aghast.“i don’t know,”said, graspingmor had ean end.“you’d betterto the barracks,” she said.“we’ll get the herr barone and see about it.”
emilie was swiftly and quietly preparingpickedup, and stood with the glittering china and silver before her, impassive, waiting forremained with his head dropped, palecould not beargo back.“i’m goingtryget into france,”said.“yes, but they’ll catch you,” said fr?ulei watched with steady, watchful grey eyes.“i can havry,i could hide till to-night,”said.
both women knew whahey all knewwaickedthe tray, and wen stood with his hea himselffelt the drossshame and incapacity.“you’d never get away,” said the governess.“i can try,” h daycould not put himself between the handsth themas they liked with him tomorrow,he escaped today.
they wercolour flushed bright into the cheekthe youn returnedprepare another tray“he could hideyour room,” the governess saiirl drew hersel could not bear the intrusion.“thatalan thinkthatsafe from the children,” said fr?ulei gavtood waiting for thedid not want the close contact with him.“you could sleep with me,” fr?ulein hesse saidher.
emilie lifted her eyes and lookedthe young man, direct, clear, reserving herself.“do you want that?” she asked, her strong virginity proof against him.“yes yes ”said uncertainly, destroyeut back her head.“yes,” she murmurehe filled the tray, and went out.“but you can’t walk over the frontiera night,” said fr?ulein hesse.“i can cycle,” h returned, a restraint, a neutrality,her bearing.“i’ll seeit’s all right,” said the governess.
iomenttwo bachmann was following emilie through the square hall, where hung large mapsth noticehild’s blue coat with brass buttonsthe peg, andreminded himemilie walking holding the handthe youngest child, whilstwatched, sitting under the lime tree.
already this waongwaortfreedomhad lost, changed foew, immediat went quickly, fearfullythe stairs and dowon opened her door, andentered, ashamed, into her room.“i mustdown,” she murmured, and she departed, closing the door softly.
it wamall, bare, nea waittle dish for holy water, a picturethe sacred heart, a crucifix, anri small bed lay white and untouched, the wash-hand bowlred earth stooda bare table, there waittle mirror anmall chesas all.
feeling safe,sanctuary,wentthe window, looking over the courtyardthe shimmering, afternoo was goingleave this land, thiwasthe unknown.
he drew away intocurious simplicity and severitythe little roman catholic bedroom was foreign but restorinookedth waong, lean, peasant christ carveda peasantthe blac the first timehis life, bachmann saw the figurea huma representean hanging therehelples staredit, closely,if for new knowledge.
within his own flesh burned and smouldered the restles could not gather himsel waaphi shame within him seemeddisplace his strength andsat downhi shame, the roused feelingexposure actedhis brain, made him heavy, unutterabl, his wits all gone,took off his boots, his belt, his tunic, put them aside, and lay down, heavy, and fell intinddrugged sleep.
emilie camea little while, and looked awas sunaw him lying there inert, and terribly still, and sheshirt was unfastenedth saw his pure white flesh, very cleanhe slep legs,the blue uniform trousers, his feetthe coarse stockings, lay foreignhe went away.
m.pi.co
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