（
尊贵庶女）（
神医狂妃）（
教育123文学网）（
重生之抽奖空间）（
巨星之名器炉鼎）（
网游之重生法神）by d. h. lawrence
a rather small young man satthe windowa pretty seaside cottage tryingpersuade himself thatwas readingwas about half past eightth, the glory roses hungthe morning sunshine like little bowlsfire tipped up.the young man lookedthe table, thenthe clock, thenhis own big silve expressionstiff endurance cametohe rose and reflectedthe oil paintings that hungthe wallsthe room, giving careful but hostile attention“the stagbay”.he tried the lidthe piano, and founaught sighthis own facea little mirror, pulled his brown moustache, andalert interest sprang intowas nottwistedfigure was rather small, but alerthe turned from the mirroookself miseration mingled with his appreciationhis own physiognomy.
itateself suppression,went through intojacket, however, did not loo was new, and hamart and self confident air, sitting upoonfiden contemplated the treeheaven that flourishedthe lawn, then saunteredto the nex was more promisea crooked apple tree covered with brownround,broke offapple and, with his backthe house, toolean, shar his surprise the fruittoo againturnedsurvey the bedroom windows overlookingstarted, seeinoman’s figure; butwas onlywas gazing acrossthe sea, apparently ignoranthim.
foomenttwolookedher, watchin waood looking woman, who seemed older than he, rather pale, but healthy, her fac rich auburn hair was heapedfoldshe looked apart from him and his world, gazing awayth irked her husband that she should continue abstracted andignorancehim;pulled poppy fruits and threw themth started, glancedhim witild smile, and looked awa almost immediately she leftwent indoorsmee haine carriage, very proud, and worresssoft white muslin.
“i’ve been waiting long enough,”said.
“foror for breakfast?” she said lightly.” you knowsaid nine o’ have thought you could have slept after the journey.”“you know i’m alwaysat five, anouldn’t stopbed afte mightwellinpitin bed,a morning like this.”
“i shouldn’t have thought the pit would occuryou, here.”
she moved about examining the room, lookingthe ornaments under glas, plantedthe hearthrug, watched her rather uneasily, and grudgingl shrugged her shouldersthe apartment.
“e,” she said, taking his arm, “letgo into the garden till mrs coates brings the tray.”
“i hope she’llquick,”said, pullinggavhort laugh, and leanedhis armthe had lighteipe.
mrs coates entered the roomthey went downdelightful, erect old lady hastenedthe window foood viewhe china blue eyes were brightshe watched the young coupledown the path,walkingan easy, confident fashion, with his wife,hi landlady began talkingherselfa soft, yorkshire accent.
“justa heightthe wouldn’t ha’ marriean less than herselfstature, i think, though he’s not her equal otherwise.”here her granddaughter came in, settinrayth girl went tothe old woman’s side.
“he’s been eating the apples, gran’,” she said.
“has he,pet?well,he’s happy, why not?”
outside, the young,well favoured man listened with impatiencethe chinkth last, witighrelief, the couple camethad eaten for some time,resteoment and said:
“do you think it’s any better place than bridlington?”
“i do,” she said, “infinitely!besides, iathome here it’s not liktrange sea side placeme.”
“how long were you here?”
“two years.”
he ate reflectively.
“i should ha’ thought you’d rathertresh place,”saidlength.
she sat very silent, and then, delicately, put oueeler.
“why?”she said.“do you thinhan’t enjoy myself?”
he laughed fortably, putting the marmalade thickhis bread.
“i hope so,”said.
she again tooknoticehim.
“but don’t say anything aboutin the village, frank,” she said casually.“don’t say whm,thasedliv’s nobodantmeet, particularly, andshould never feel freethey knewagain.”
“why did you e, then?”
“‘why?’can’t you understand why?”
“notyou don’t wantknow anybody.”
“i camesee the place, not the people.”
he did not say any more.
“women,” she said, “are different fro’t know whantede buid.”
she helped himanother cupcoffee, solicitously.
“only,” she resumed, “don’t talk aboutin the village.”she laughed shakily.“i don’t wantpast broughtagainst me, you know.”and she movedthe crumbsthe cloth with her finger tip.
he lookedherhe drank his coffee;sucked his moustache, and putting down his cup, said phlegmatically:
“i’ll bet you’ve haotpast.”
she looked witittle guiltiness, that flattered him, downthe tablecloth.
“well,” she said, caressive, “you won’t giveaway, whm, will you?”
“no,”said, forting, laughing,won’t give you away.”
he was pleased.
she remainomenttwo she lifted her head, saying:
“i’ve gotarrange with mrs coates, andvariou you’d betteroutyourself this morning and we’llindinnerone.”
“but you can’tarranging with mrs coates all morning,”said.
“oh, well theni’ve some letterswrite, anust get that mark outm’ve got plentylittle thingsdo thi’d betteroutyourself.”
he perceived that she wantedbe ridhim,that when she went upstairs,took his hat and lounged outto the cliffs, suppressedlyangry.
presently she toocam worat with roses, anong lace scarf hung over her whit nervously, she puther sunshade, and her face was half hiddenits coloure went along the narrow trackflag stones that were worn hollowthe feetth seemedbe avoiding her surroundings,if she remained safethe little obscurityher parasol.
she passed the church, and went down the laill she camea high wallth this she went slowly, stoppinglengthan open doorway, which shone likicturelightthe darthe magic beyond the doorway, patternsshadow laythe sunny court,the blue and white sea pebblesits paving, whilreen lawn glowed beyond, wheray tree glitteredth tiptoed nervously into the courtyard, glancingthe house that stooncurtained windows looked black and soulless, the kitchen door stoo she tootep forward, and again forward, leaning, yearning, towards the garden beyond.
she had almost gained the cornerthe house wheeavy step came crunching throughappeared befor helicker traywhich were rolling great, dark red gooseberries, moved slowly.
“the garden isn’t open today,”said quietlythe attractive woman, who was poised for retreat.
fooment she was silent wit shouldbe publicall?
“whenit open?”she asked, quick witted.
“the rector lets visitorson fridays and tuesdays.”
she stood still, strange tothinkthe rector opening his gardenthe public!
“but everybody willat church,” she said coaxinglythe man.“there’llnobody here, will there?”
he moved, and the big gooseberries rolled.
“the rector livesthe new rectory,”said.
the two stoo did not likeask last she turnedhim witinning smile.
“mighave one peepthe roses?”she coaxed, with pretty wilfulness.
“i don’t supposewould matter,”said, moving aside:“you won’t stop long ”
she went forward, fetting the gardener face became strained, her movement round, she saw all the windows givingto the lawn were curtainlesshouse haterile appearance,ifwere still used, butseemedgo ove went across the lawn towards the garden, througharchcrimson ramblers, a gateyond lay the soft blue sea with the bay, misty with morning, and the farthest headlandblack rock jutting dimly out between blue and bluethe skyface beganshine, transfigured with painher feet the garden fell steeply, alonfusionflowers, and away below was the darknesstree tops covering the beck.
she turnedthe garden that shone with sunny flowers aroun knew the little corner where was the seat beneath thethere was the terrace wherreat hostflowers shone, and from this, two paths went down, oneeach sideth closed her sunshade and walked slowly among the man round were rose bushes, big banksroses, then roses hanging and tumbling from pillars,roses balancedthe standar the open earth were many othe she lifted her head, the sea was upraised beyond, and the cape.
slowly she went down one path, lingering, like one who has gone back intoshe was touching some heavy crimson roses that were softvelvet, touching them thoughtfully, without knowing,a mother sometimes fondles the handhe leaned slightly forwardcatchshe wanderedlame coloured, scentless rose would holdstood gazingitif she could not understand it.again the same softnessintimacy came over her,she stood beforumbling heappink petals.
then she wondered over the white rose, that was greenish, like ice,th, slowly, likhite, pathetic butterfly, she drifted down the path, inglasta tiny terrace all fuleemedfill the place, a sunny,was shythem, they weremany aneemedbe conversingfelt herselfa strang exhilarated her, carried her oulushed wit airwas pure scent.
hastily, she wenta little seat among the white roses, andscarlet sunshade madard bloat quite still, feeling her own existenc wasmore thaose, a rose that could not quite e into blossom, but remaine fly droppedher knee,her whit watched it,ifhad fallen was not herself.
then she started cruellya shadow crossed her anigure moved intowaan who had eslippers, worine morning was shattered, the spell vanishe was only afraidbein cam , seeing him, the strength went from her and she sankthe seat again.
he waoung man, militaryappearance, growing slightl black hair was brushed smooth and bright, his moustachethere was something ramblinghi looked up, blanchedthe lips, and sawwere black, and stared withou were noan’ was ing towards her.
he staredher fixedly, made unconscious salute, and sat down beside herth movedthe bench, shifted his feet, saying,a gentlemanly, military voice:
“i don’t disturb youi?”
she was mut was scrupulously dresseddark clothes anine couldhis hands, with the ring she knewwell upon the little finger, she feltif she were goin whole worldsa hands, her symbolspassionate love, filled her with horrorthey rested nowhis strong thighs.
“mamoke?”he asked intimately, almost secretly, his hand goinghis pocket.
she could not answer, butdid not matter,wasanothe wondered, craving,he recognized herhe could recogniz sat pale wit she hadgo through it.
“i haven’t got any tobacco,”said thoughtfully.
but she paid noheedhis words, only she attended trecognize her,wasall gone?she sat stillirozen kindsuspense.
“i smoke john cotton,”said, “anust economize with it,i know, i’m not very well off while these lawsuits are going on.”
“no,” she said, and her heart was cold, her soul kept rigid.
he moved, madoose salute, rose, and wencould see his shape, the shape she had loved, with all her passion: his pact, soldier’s head, his fine figureit was not he.it only filled her with horror too difficultknow.
suddenlycame again, his handhis jacket pocket.
“do you mindi smoke?”he said.“perhaphallablesee things more clearly.”
he sat down beside her again, filling watched his hands with the fine stron had always inclinedtrembl had surprised her, long ago,sucealth they moved inaccurately, and the tobacco hung raggedly outthe pipe.
“i have legal businessattend to.legal affairs are always ssolicitor exactly, precisely whaant, buan never getdone.”
she sat andheardit was not he.yet those were the hands she had kissed, there were the glistening, strange black eyes that sheit was not he.she sat motionless with horrordropped his tobacco pouch, and groped foronshe must waithe would recogniz could she not go!iomentrose.
“i mustat once,”said.“the owling.”thenadded confidentially: “his name isn’t really the owl, buallgoand seehe has e.”
sh stood before her, waandsome, soldierly fellow, and eyes searched him, and searched him,seehe would recognize her,she could discover him.
“you don’t know me?”she asked, from theterrorher soul, standing alone.
he looked backathadbeargleamedher, but witas drawingnearerher.
“yes, iknow you,”said, fixed, intent, but mad, drawing his face neare horror waspowerful lunatic was ing too nearher.
a man approached, hastening.
“the garden isn’t open this morning,”said.
the derangedman stopped and lookeeeper wentthe seat and pickedthe tobacco pouch left lying there.
“don’t leave your tobacco, sir,”said, takingto the gentlemanthe linen coat.
“i was just asking this ladystaylunch,” the latter said politely.“shea friendmine.”
the woman turned and walked swiftly, blindly, between the sunny roses, outthe garden, past the house with the blank, dark windows, through the sea pebbled courtyardth and blind, she went forward without hesitating, not knowin she camethe house she went upstairs, took off her hat, and sat downth wasif some membrane had been torntwoher,that she was notentity that could thinksat staring acrossthe window, whereivy spray waved slowlyand downthewas somethe uncanny luminousnessthe sunlit seath sat perfectly still, withoutonly felt she mightsick, andmightblood that was looseher tor sat perfectly still and passive.
afteime she heard the hard treadher husbandthe floor below, and, without herself changing, she registeredheard his rather disconsolate footstepsout again, then his voice speaking, answering, growing cheery, and his solid tread drawing near.
he entered, ruddy, rather pleased,airplacency about his aler move falteredhis approach.
“what’s the matter?”he askeingeimpatiencehis voice.“aren’t you feeling well?”
this was tortureher.
“quite,” she replied.
his brown eyes became puzzled and angry.
“whatthe matter?”
he said.
“nothing.”
he tooew strides, and stood obstinately, looking outthe window.
“have you runagainst anybody?”he asked.
“nobody who knows me,” she said.
his hands begaxasperated him, that she wasmore sensiblehim thanhe didon herlength, driven,asked:
“something has upset you hasn’t it?”
“no, why?”she sai did not exist for her, exceptan irritant.
his anger rose, filling the veinshis throat.
“it seemslike it,”said, makingeffort notshow his anger, because there seemedreason for it.he went awa sat stillthe bed, and with the residuefeeling lefther, she disliked him becausetormente time went by.she could smell the dinner being served, the smokeher husband’s pipe fromshe couldhaainkleth heard him thenmounted the stair every step her heart grew tighpened the door.
“dinneron the table,”said.
it was difficult for herendure his presence, forwould interfere wit could not recoverrose stiffly and wen could neither eat nor talk duringsat absent, torn, without any beinghe triedgoasnothing wereat lastbecame silent wit soonit was possible, she went upstairs again, and locked the bedroo musent with his pipe intohis suppressed anger against her who held herself superiorhim filled and blackenedhe had not know it, yethad never really won her, she had never love had taken hiad foile was onlabouring electricianthe mine, she was superioad always given wall the while, the injury and ignominy had been workinghis soul because she did not holdnowall his rage cameagainst her.
he turned and wen third time, she heard him mountingheart stoo turned the catch and pushed the doorwa triedagain, heart was standing still.
“have you fastened the door?”he asked quietly, becausethe landlady.
“yes. waiinute.”
she rose and turned the lock, afraidwould burst it.she felt hatred towards him, becausedid not leaveentered, his pipe between his teeth, and she returnedher old positionth closed thedoor and stood with his backit.
“what’s the matter?”asked determinedly.
she was sick wit could not lookhim.
“can’t you leavealone?” she replied, averting her face from him.
he looked ather quickly, fully, wincing witseemedconsider fooment.
“there’ssomethingwith you, isn’t there?”he asked definitely.
“yes,” she said, “but that’sreason why you should torment me.”
“i don’ttormen’s the matter?”
“why should you know?”she cried,hate and desperation.
somethin started and caught his pipeit fell fromhe pushed forward the bitten off mouth piece with his tongue, tookfrom off his lips, and out his pipe, and brushed the ash fromwhichraised his head.
“i wantknow,” h face wasgreyish pale, and set uglily.
neither lookedth knewwas fire heart was poundin hated him, but she could not withstan she lifted her head and turnedhim.
“what right have youknow?” she asked.
he lookeda felangsurprise for his tortured eyes and his fixe her heart hardene had never love did not love him now.
but suddenly she lifted her head again swiftly, likhing that triesge wantedbe was not himmuch, but it, something she had putherself, that bound heaving put the bondherself,was hardesttakow she hated everything and fel stood with his backthe door, fixed,ifwould oppose her eternally, till shelookeyes were coldworkman’s hands spreadthe panelsthe door behind him.
“you knosedlive here?”she began, ina hard voice,if wilfullywound him.
he braced himself against her, and nodded.
“well, i was panionmiss birchtorril hall she and the rector were friends, and archie was the rector’s son.”there was listened without knowing whatstaredhi was squattedher white dressthe bed, carefully folding andfolding the hemhe voice was fullhostility.
“he wasofficeub lieutenant thenquarrelled with his colonel and came outth any rate” she pluckedher skirt hem, her husband stood motionless, watching her movements which filled his veins with madness “he was awfullyfondme, anashim awfully.”
“how old was he?”asked the husband.
“when wheirst knew him?or whenwent away? ”
“when you first knew him.”
“wheirst knew him,was twenty six now he’s thirty one nearly thirty two because i’m twenty nine, andis nearly three years older ”
she lifted her head and lookedthe opposite wall.
“and what then?” said her husband.
she hardened herself, and said callously:
“we weregoodengaged for nearlear, though nobody knewleast they talked butwasn’went away ”
“he chucked you?”said the husband brutally, wantinghurt her into contact wit heart rose wildly wit “yes”, she said,ange shiftedfrom one footthe other, giving a “ph!”of rage.
there was silence foime.
“then,” she resumed, her pain givinocking noteher words, “he suddenly went outfightafrica, and almost the very dairst met you, i heard from miss birch he’d got sunstroke and two months after, thatwas dead ”
“that was before you tookwith me?”
said the husband.
there wapoke for hadeyes were contracted uglily.
“so you’ve been lookingyour old courting places!”he said.“that was what you wantedgo outyourself for this morning.”
still she did not answerwent away from the doorth stood with his hands behind him, his bacookeands seemed grossher, the backhis head paltry.
at length, almost against his will,turned round, asking:
“how long were you carryingwith him?”
“whatyou mean?”she replied coldly.
“i mean how long were you carryingwith him?”
she lifted her head, averting her face fro refusehe said:
“i don’tknow what you mean,carrying on.i loved him from the first dayet him two months afteentstay with miss birch.”
“and doyou reckonloved you?”he jeered.
“i knowdid.”
“howyou know,he’d havemoredo with you?”
there waong silencehate and suffering.
“and how far didgo between you?”he askedat length,a frightened, stiff voice.
“i hate your not straightforward questions,” she cried, beside herself with his baiting.“we loved each other, andwere lovers w’t care what you think:what have you gotdo with it?we were lovers before evenew you ”
“lovers lovers,”said, white with fury.“you mean you had your fling witharmy man, and then camememarry you when you’d done ”
she sat swallowingwas along pause.
“do you meansay you usedgo the whole hogger?”he asked, still incredulous.
“why, what elseyou thinean?”she cried brutally.
he shrank, and became white, waong, paralyse seemedhave gone small.
“you never thoughttellall this beforarried you,”said, with bitter irony,last.
“you never asked me,” she replied.“i never thought there was any need.”
“well, then, you should think.”
he stood with expressionless, almost childlike set face, revolving many thoughts, whilst his heart was mad with anguish.
suddenly she added:“anaw him today,” she said. “henot dead, he’s mad.”
her husband lookedher, startled.
“mad!’he said involuntarily.
“a lunatic,”almost cost her her reasonutterwaause.
“didknow you?”asked the husbanda small voice.
“no,” she said.
he stood and lookeasthad learned the widththe breach betwee still squattedth could notnea wouldviolationeachthembe brought into contact withthing must work itsel were both shockedmuch, they were impersonal, andlonger hated eac some minutesleft her and went out.
m.pi.co
(梨树文学http://www.lishu123.com)